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On Being Mom and Being a Person

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The snow is completely gone now and there are flowers blooming everywhere. The crocuses made the first appearance, poking through last year’s dead leaves and small remnants of snow. Then it is the daffodils, hyacinths, and other  beauties that I don’t know the name of. The forsythia is a splash of yellow and the silhouette’s of tree show the leaves that are ready to unfurl any day now. Walking through town, I see yards with the gorgeous magnolia tree. It’s covered with white blossoms that make it easy to believe that there are dryads in these parts.

The grass is bright green. And one just feels more alive.

 

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One day last week, the girls and I spent the entire morning outside. We browsed a neighbor’s moving sale and scored some sweet deals and had some lovely conversation. I got to have a peek at the inside of a house that could tell decades of stories. I bought a vintage globe amongst other things and it makes me so happy every time I see it. I brought our treasures home and then we continued on to the playground.

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I said yes to bringing the baby dolls and that made my little girls so happy. I brought scones for mid-morning noshing and we played follow-the-leader on the wooden borders of the playground.

The girls climbed on the structure and went on the swings and I played with the camera. And we all felt alive. They held hands and walked the full length of the field together. I listened to the birdsong and savoured the simple beauty. We went on a treasure hunt for the daffodils and I let them bring sticks home. We peeled the bark off and felt the smooth branch underneath the scaly bark.

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A friend asked me how I keep being Breanne, keep being a person while also being a mom and a wife and a home manager. I kind of stammered out an answer to her that night over my chai latte. Sometimes the lines all get blurred and I don’t feel very much like a person. And that’s when I need to be deliberate and build those things into my life that make me feel alive.

But a few days after our conversation and my pondering over it, I realized that I do keep being a person and here is some of what I do.

I take the ‘big’ camera to the park and play with it. I take pictures of the girls but I also crawl under branches and lie on the dewy grass in an effort to capture what I see. 

I let the girls be by themselves and seize the quiet moments when they are playing by themselves. Those are my little snippets of introvert re-charge time. 

I try to do one happy thing each day, creating or doing something with the girls that makes me feel alive. I constantly have a book on the go, when the stack beside my bed is empty, I get antsy. 

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I know that this is a season, it’s a full-on, hit the ground running from the first noises that come from the girls’ room. It’s exhausting, intense, and exhilarating. I feel alive when I throw myself into it. I feel myself when I let them be themselves. When I stop and stare into their eyes and see them as the little people that they are.

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How do you keep being you with all the other life responsibilities you have? What do you do to re-charge?

 

 

 

{ 18 comments… add one }

  • lavernjdewilde April 29, 2013, 6:30 pm

    Exquisite!!!! The change in the brilliancy of the time of year is amazingly uplifting!!!!!!

  • lavernjdewilde April 29, 2013, 6:30 pm

    Exquisite!!!! The change in the brilliancy of the time of year is amazingly uplifting!!!!!!

  • ramblingtart April 29, 2013, 6:42 pm

    So beautiful and inspiring, dear friend. I LOVE your globe – love, love, love it. :-) Can’t wait to see a pic of it. :-) I am my own person in ways similar to you: when I let Bear be utterly himself and delight in his him-ness. Somehow that frees me to delight in my me-ness. I’ve gotten to know myself so much better over the last two years, so I can read myself and know what I need to recharge. Today it’s getting covered in dirt and chicken poop and who knows what as I clean out a shed and refinish some grotty old furniture. And taking time to journal and take pictures. And hammock time. :-)

    • Breanne :: This Vintage Moment April 29, 2013, 7:01 pm

      Yes! So much of it is knowing ourselves, isn’t it? I have only really realized this in the last year. I’m so glad this resonated with you. =)
      Your day sounds perfect. Such a good balance. =) XO

  • ramblingtart April 29, 2013, 6:42 pm

    So beautiful and inspiring, dear friend. I LOVE your globe – love, love, love it. :-) Can’t wait to see a pic of it. :-) I am my own person in ways similar to you: when I let Bear be utterly himself and delight in his him-ness. Somehow that frees me to delight in my me-ness. I’ve gotten to know myself so much better over the last two years, so I can read myself and know what I need to recharge. Today it’s getting covered in dirt and chicken poop and who knows what as I clean out a shed and refinish some grotty old furniture. And taking time to journal and take pictures. And hammock time. :-)

    • Breanne :: This Vintage Moment April 29, 2013, 7:01 pm

      Yes! So much of it is knowing ourselves, isn’t it? I have only really realized this in the last year. I’m so glad this resonated with you. =)
      Your day sounds perfect. Such a good balance. =) XO

  • Ted April 30, 2013, 6:29 am

    Wow, Khaira bears such a resemblance of Jared!

  • Ted April 30, 2013, 6:29 am

    Wow, Khaira bears such a resemblance of Jared!

  • Rachel May 1, 2013, 9:59 pm

    I’ve thought a lot of that subject too (i.e. being yourself while being a mom). I wonder sometimes if it’s just part and parcel of entering the parenting gig in your early twenties. There are ways in which I’m finding myself despite my children (such as ensuring I have long-term goals and present pursuits that don’t revolve around them), but mostly I learn about myself because of them.

    Spending my days with two little people who share my DNA, mixed with that of the man I chose to spend my life with, and being nurtured in the environment that I created is teaching me a lot about who I am and what makes me tick. I didn’t think I was fond of schedules until they messed with mine. I thought I was fairly immune to mess until my little guy learned how to ‘dump’. And the quirks that drive me up the wall are usually the ones I hate about myself. Sometimes that means we all have some growing to do, sometimes it means I need to be patient – with the child in question, and with myself. Or with my husband, should my offspring be taking after one of his less-than-stellar points ;)

    As for recharging, letting them play on their own is gold, especially since they’re fairly introverted too!

    P.S. the green is gorgeous. hopefully it comes to our neck of the woods soon!

    • Breanne :: This Vintage Moment May 2, 2013, 8:55 am

      “Sometimes that means we all have some growing to do, sometimes it means I need to be patient”

      Yes and yes. So many good thoughts here. Thanks, Rachel.

      • Rachel May 2, 2013, 11:46 am

        You’re very welcome. And thank you too :)

  • Rachel May 1, 2013, 9:59 pm

    I’ve thought a lot of that subject too (i.e. being yourself while being a mom). I wonder sometimes if it’s just part and parcel of entering the parenting gig in your early twenties. There are ways in which I’m finding myself despite my children (such as ensuring I have long-term goals and present pursuits that don’t revolve around them), but mostly I learn about myself because of them.

    Spending my days with two little people who share my DNA, mixed with that of the man I chose to spend my life with, and being nurtured in the environment that I created is teaching me a lot about who I am and what makes me tick. I didn’t think I was fond of schedules until they messed with mine. I thought I was fairly immune to mess until my little guy learned how to ‘dump’. And the quirks that drive me up the wall are usually the ones I hate about myself. Sometimes that means we all have some growing to do, sometimes it means I need to be patient – with the child in question, and with myself. Or with my husband, should my offspring be taking after one of his less-than-stellar points ;)

    As for recharging, letting them play on their own is gold, especially since they’re fairly introverted too!

    P.S. the green is gorgeous. hopefully it comes to our neck of the woods soon!

    • Breanne :: This Vintage Moment May 2, 2013, 8:55 am

      “Sometimes that means we all have some growing to do, sometimes it means I need to be patient”

      Yes and yes. So many good thoughts here. Thanks, Rachel.

      • Rachel May 2, 2013, 11:46 am

        You’re very welcome. And thank you too :)

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