In this moment, there’s a sense of busy calm. My big girls are outside playing, hunting for signs of spring and finding sticks they can carve. My little man is finally asleep after two outfit changes and a whole lot of snuggle time.
The house shows evidences of life everywhere from the papers and pencil crayons leftover from this morning’s homeschooling time to the books on almost every surface and a half-empty cold cup of tea.
My baby is three months old and I feel the newborn fog lifting with just a few wisps around that will probably always stay because I still have young children.
One of the books I read early after Kieran’s birth has deeply impacted my last three months and the months to come as I try to figure out just where and what to focus on. Three children with three different needs from me, a commitment to homeschool, meals to prep and a house that won’t clean itself plus all the super fun opportunities that come up on a weekly basis. There’s just not that much of me to go around and I’ve flirted with burn out too many times in the past to know I don’t want to go there.
This book is Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and though the author didn’t intend it to be a manifesto for motherhood, its become that for me. Learning a graceful no and setting boundaries (for myself and others). Identifying the slowest hiker in our little group (hello newborn baby!) and then adapting my pace have been life-giving realizations.
This is an intense season, absolutely exhausting and yet exhilarating often in the same moment. My big girl reads to my baby while my middle and I prep supper. It’s a lightning fast pace yet our days are slow and often feel small and unglamorous. I’ve had to become a much better time manager then ever before fitting homeschool and meal prep and conversations in around feedings and naps. My girls have become adept helpers in rocking the chair, running upstairs for yet another onsie or blanket and learning to be flexible during read aloud time.
I need my focus to be sharp and my purpose clear for the days when I feel two steps behind before I even wake up fully and for the days when everything flows well when Kieran’s naps are long and I sit with the girls and we finally do our butterfly art project together.
3 months in, I’m finding my groove, readjusting my expectations and quieting my internal crazy, it feels good and I’m grateful.